Enough used to feel like settling.
Like lowering the bar. Like admitting I couldn’t handle more. Enough was what you accepted when the bigger version of your life didn’t work out the way you planned.
After a year of loss, and at the beginning of a year of transition, that definition doesn’t hold anymore.
Now, enough feels different.
Enough doesn’t mean the days are easy. Most days, I still end them depleted. I give what I have, and there usually isn’t much left afterward. But the exhaustion feels proportionate now. It matches the effort. I end the day tired, not defeated.
Before, I was always behind. No matter how much I did, it never felt like enough. There was always another emotional demand waiting, another situation to manage, another moment where I had to stay alert. I was never really off. Even rest required vigilance.
Now, the days still ask for everything I have. But when they end, I can tell myself the truth: I showed up. I did what needed to be done. I’m not carrying the constant sense that I failed simply because I ran out of capacity.
Enough isn’t having energy left over.
Enough is being able to stop without guilt.
It’s not about having fewer responsibilities. It’s about having responsibilities with edges. They’re clearer now. Narrower. More specific. Showing up for my son. Being present for my goddaughter. Keeping the day moving forward without asking it to carry more than it can.
Enough isn’t ambitious. It isn’t impressive. It doesn’t photograph well.
Enough is when the weight of the day matches the strength I have available to carry it.
That balance used to feel like compromise. Now it feels like alignment.
I still want things. I still imagine futures that look different from this one. But I’m no longer measuring the present against a version of life that no longer exists. I’m measuring it against reality.
Enough doesn’t mean I’m done growing. It means I’m done chasing the wrong scale.
Some days, enough is patience.
Some days, it’s endurance.
Some days, it’s simply making it through without feeling like I failed.
Enough will change. It has to.
But learning what enough feels like has given me something I didn’t have before: a way to recognize when a day actually fits.
And for now, that’s enough.